Inspirational thoughts and random writings from the alumni and friends of Quad-Cities Christian Writers Conference.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

I Ain't No Grammar Girl

By Lori Boruff

I am a writer but not the best
so I'm getting this off my chest--
I ain't no grammar girl!

My participles dangle                                                             
and I don't even no it,
I imagine the scene
but don't know how to show it.

Double negatives haunt me,
ellipses taunt me,
conjuctions I strut—
don't look at my big but!

I ain't no grammar girl!

I often compare my verbs to yours.
Am I a skinny or fat writer?
In my dreams I hear
Cec Murphey scream WRITE TIGHTER!

I ain't no grammar girl!

I suffer from split infinitives—
however, they're not readily contagious,
that's what I think about that!
Is that too many thats?

Will I grow up to be the grammar queen?
The bestest writer you've ever seen?
Practice makes perfect, I know that's true,
so look out grammar gurus—someday I may be like you!