At least I wasn’t trying to buy alcohol.
All my life, I’ve had two constant physical characteristics—blonde hair and deceitful youth. Recently, I exchanged blonde for black, hoping to look older. Despite being twenty-two, married, and a mother, I am commonly mistaken for a teenager. The doctor’s office will ask my age before giving me unsigned paperwork, and I’ve been stopped at grocery stores by employees wanting to know if I’ve “lost my mother”.
The worst of these happened at the bank last year.
My husband, Matt, and I went after Christmas, to deposit some checks we had received as gifts. One of them was made out to our daughter, who was two months old at the time. My husband asked the teller if we could sign the check for her, since she clearly couldn’t. The woman smiled, and said yes.
When the transaction was finished, she gave me an odd grin and a long look. She then looked at Matt and said “Can she have a lollipop?” Matt was confused, wondering why she was offering a lollipop to a newborn. He stuttered out, ”Sure,” and the woman dug up her lollipops, holding them out to me. At this point, it was too late to object and embarrass her, so I decided to ride it out. I plucked a butterscotch, and thanked her.
Meanwhile, Matt realized her blunder, and he knew it would bother me later. He put on a offended face, leaned in and asked, “Can I have one too?”.
On the walk out, he put an arm around my shoulder. Inside the car, we shared a laugh, and enjoyed our spoils of mistaken age.I’m 22, live in Pleasant Valley , IA
My name is phonetically pronounced Kah-REESE, but everyone
gets it wrong the first twenty times.
I cheered for 3 years, and I would rather not talk about it.
My sleeping habits have a few people thinking I'm a vampire. (The non-glittering kind)
I try to be a woman with a short skirt and a long jacket.
I really hate toucans.
I don’t wear orange. I refuse to win by default in pool.
I eat my ice cream in a bowl only. I would rather drink from a glass bottle than an aluminum can. It feels classier.
I work better under pressure, thus I procrastinate with everything.
I'm Plegmatic and Sanguine. Also, I don't believe in horoscopes.
I don't do running or jumping jacks. But I love Captain Jack Sparrow.
I love nacho's. I will never pass up an opportunity to have nacho's. I make a mean buffalo-chicken pizza, which was previously unknown in the mid-west. I've yet to receive the rewards I quite clearly deserve for this enlightenment.
Many people think I'm weird. I'm inclined to agree with them. :)
Nice to meet you! Very cool sharing points. I think I was in my thirties before telemarketers stopped asking for my mother. That's when I got into reception mode and developed a phone, and later, radio voice--which I have to keep practicing. Good for you! Keep dreaming and working.
ReplyDeleteLoved your humor, Charis. When we took our daughter to college (6 hours away) we went to play mini-golf. The attendant asked if she was under 12, lol.
ReplyDeleteAnd your husband sounds perfect, God bless him!