True Confessions of a Pastor's Wife

By Gail P. Smith

I have a confession to make.  It's kind of embarrassing to admit because I've been a Christian since I was 9, have been in church all my life, SS teacher, choir, the whole nine yards.  But here it is:  It's tough for me to set aside time to read the Bible and pray.  It’s hard enough to make that commitment once a week or even once a month, never mind trying to do it every day. And man, can we come up with excuses.

I should know.  For years I figured since I was so busy doing things for God, teaching Sunday School, working in the nursery, singing in the choir being a pastor’s wife, for Pete’s sake, that I assumed didn’t really need to spend a lot of time with God actually asking His opinion about what I was up to.  After all, it was good stuff done for my church, family  & friends.  Just a quick "God bless....today," should do it, right?

It’s not that I never read the Bible or studied it.  I was in BSF for over 15 years and I wrote my own curriculum for my middle school SS students.  But to take time each day, just me and Him,  hearing God’s voice by reading His word and talking to Him in prayer.  Well, obviously I didn’t have time to do that. If I did, how would I ever get all my good works for Him done.

I’m not proud of that attitude.  I’d been taught better, but it took a crisis in our lives for me to realize that though I thought I was helping God out, my works for Him, were really nothing.  Just busy work. Only by God’s grace and mercy did He choose to overlook my self-centered failings and use it to His glory anyway. (That's how much He loves His children.)

I have a sneaking suspicion I’m not the only one who's had problems putting the busyness of doing ahead of the quietness of seeking. 

So now here we stand on the eve of the New Year, when life feels like it’s giving us a chance to begin again, I want to share things changed when I began to figure out how to daily/faithfully seek His presence.  I love to help you begin a conversation with God that will never end.

My home church preacher once said, “Never fall asleep without having read God’s word that day.”  I heard this back in the 1970s.  Then one day, I heard it with my heart heard it.  "Okay, let's give it a try," I thought.  I sat my Bible by my bed and at bed time, if I hadn’t read it before then, I grabbed it and at least read something right then.  A tiny baby step, but guess what—God allows baby steps and even holds your hand as you take them!

Another bigger, step occurred much later.  This time I was studying an Old Testament story of King David.  Seems he needed some land on which to make sacrifices to God and made a offer to the land’s owner, Ornan (story & scripture after post.)  Ornan wanted to give the land to David.  David’s answer is what God used to really pierce my heart:

“I will not offer to the Lord that which costs me nothing.” (1 Chronicles 21:22-24)

Did you ever feel you could almost hear God saying "Ahem?"
I realized that for all those years of struggling to seek God in a personal quiet time, I thought it should cost me nothing.  I somehow thought the time I spent with God would be “spare time” leftover from when I had done everything I wanted/needed to do.  I was offering to God only “that which cost me nothing.”  No sleep loss, no newspaper not read, no TV show missed—I had to ask myself was I really unwilling to give up ANYTHING to better know and love the One who died for me?   Suddenly I “got it,” and I saw the need to make a change.

The next time I woke up early and didn’t want to leave my nice, warm bed (I live in Iowa and that can be a BIG deal,) I said to myself, “I will not offer to the Lord that which costs me nothing,” got up, put on a robe and opened my Bible.  And guess what—God was there waiting for me and He wasn’t even mad about all the times I’d missed.  In fact, He was just dying to bless me, to know me, to love me and be my friend.  When I gave up trying to keep all my time, my life for me, and give Him nothing, I found in His presence more than enough to make up for any “loss.”

So I write you today, at this incredible time of year, with a new beginning just around the corner, to share the offer God makes to us all.  "If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me."(Jer. 29:13)  And believe me, there is no better way to start than by treating yourself to time with your best Friend, your Savior and Lord, Jesus. Let this be the year you stop doing so many things for God and start becoming who God designed you to be  It will be the beginning of the best years of your life. 
God promises to meet you where you are today.  He's waiting for you.

Because there are lots of other things that have helped me in my quest to spend time with God each day that I’d like to share and this post is too long already, I invite you to visit my personal blog.  In the coming days I will be sharing more things I do to make connecting with God each day exciting, fun and a true meeting with my dearest Friend.  The link is:
http://grammygail.blogspot.com/

 One Bible story that changed me:

1 Chronicles 21:22-24

 22 Then David said to Ornan, “Grant me the place of this threshing floor, that I may build an altar on it to the LORD. You shall grant it to me at the full price, that the plague may be withdrawn from the people.”

 23 But Ornan said to David, “Take it to yourself, and let my lord the king do what is good in his eyes. Look, I also give you the oxen for burnt offerings, the threshing implements for wood, and the wheat for the grain offering; I give it all.”

 24 Then King David said to Ornan, “No, but I will surely buy it for the full price, for I will not take what is yours for the LORD, nor offer burnt offerings with that which costs me nothing.”

The Longing Heart

By Sr. Jeannette Doran, OCD

 
The human heart hungers for God. And our hearts are truly restless until they rest in God. With fear that our needs will not be met, we search in empty places for what will satisfy us. This continues the cycle of trying to fill ourselves with fruit from bare branches. One will not find lasting happiness. The longing in our hearts can only be filled with God.

John of the Cross writes that “the center of our soul is God”. In taking moments of quiet to enter into our inner depths and seek God, peace will penetrate our being.

Yet we say in our chaotic world how is it possible to find a real silence? The noise of news blares from all corners of our immediate world. This can draw us so quickly into the almost daily reports of roadside bombs in Afghanistan, and gun violence in families and cities across our country. How can one find this quiet space?

Personally, I've begun to realize interior peace is attainable, even if world wars exist. St. John of the Cross writes in the third book of The Ascent of Mount Carmel that peace and tranquility are such blessings that even if the whole world were to come to an end this should not disturb our peace. Victor Frankl wrote of his experience in the Nazi concentration camps. He reflected that when one focused on some gift of beauty each day such as the sight of the rosy hue of mornings light, one could survive and find meaning in life. Many who lived severe atrocities survived because they learned to do just this. We learn that even in seemingly unbearable circumstances we can cry out to God in the center of our soul.

It does take practice not to allow oneself to be overwhelmed in darkness but this can be done in becoming aware of the beauty in our lives. Awareness comes when we take time to touch the velvet rose petals and grasp the lovely lilies, to gaze at the gentle sky-blue pinks of dawn and the vibrant red-orange hues at sunset. It is realized when we understand why the deer longs for refreshing water surrounding us each day. The more we taste and see what beauty envelopes us we praise God for these gifts surrounding us each day. Above all when we fill our minds and hearts with holy thoughts, our serenity will be guarded and moment by moment we can hold on to a lasting joy. It is possible for the longing in our hearts for God to be satisfied.

A Vicarious Life or a Vivacious Life?

By Helen Knueven

Matthew 14:22-33
Jesus went alone to pray after sending His disciples on a ship. While they were there a great storm developed. At some time of the night, Jesus’ returned to them. He walked on the water, and met up with the tossed ship that rocked the frightened followers.

They were afraid they saw a ghost, but Jesus reassured them. “Don’t be afraid; it ‘s me!”

Peter, struck by the adventure and sight of Jesus walking on water requested, “Jesus, if that is you – tell me to come to you!” Jesus complied – and Peter walked on the water for a short time until the ravishing waves caught his attention and then he began to fall.

Jesus realized Peter’s faith was wavering. He extended His hand and lifted him up. After they entered the ship, the storm subsided. The vote was unanimous amidst the disciples: Jesus was the Son of God!

Many sermons have been preached on this passage. Some point out the necessity of faith and urge us to have more faith and to be less like Peter.

Some say, “Be like Peter! At least he walked on water for awhile.”

Others emphasize the graciousness of our Lord . Though He chastised Peter for doubting, He did not hesitate to extend Himself in two ways: in calling out to Peter to join Him in the water walk, and in holding him up when he began to sink.

Today I would like to share another thought. I would like to focus on what Jesus was doing after He sent the disciples away. He was praying. Time with the Father was valued far above everything else. Of all the people He could be healing, of all the storms He could be calming, of all the profound sermons He could have been preaching – Jesus’ priority was His relationship with the Father.
Jesus could have handled this situation is so many different ways. If He relied on experience instead of relationship, He may have spoken to the waves as He did in Matthew 8:26-27. If He did, Peter would have never walked on water. Nor would the others have witnessed the available power of God for everyone who believes.

Because of His constant communion with the Father – He always knew the best way to handle every situation. Although experience is a good teacher – the Holy Spirit is the best teacher.

Has God placed you in some form of leadership? Can you trust the Lord to develop the faith of the people in your life? Do you unintentionally stop those you lead from growing by managing? Or do you lead from the outflow of your relationship with the Lord? Have your best lessons in life been learned from lecture or by experience? Though Jesus Christ was fully human and fully divine - He walked as a man in obedience to the Father; thereby becoming our example.

Let’s be honest. Human nature is walking on concrete, not water. But we are in this Christianity for the magnificent nature of God.

Only in His presence are we truly transformed.

Jesus does not want us to live on the edge of experience but in the joy of God’s ability and presence through us. My prayer is that our communion with the Father will precede our decisions and life’s occurrences.

INTERRUPTIONS OR OPPORTUNITIES?

By Sharon Wilhite

"Honey, can you make me a lunch?" "Mom, I don't understand this math
problem." Brrring - "Hi! This is so and so. Do you have a few minutes
to listen?" "Mom, look at what I colored." "Honey, I can't find any
socks in my drawer!" Brring - "This is the church prayer chain, could
you pray right now for so and so?" "Mom, what does 'purity' mean?"
"Honey, let me tell you about my day at work." And on and on it goes.

.Matthew 6:33-46 records the miracle of the feeding of the 5000.
Verses 30-32 give the prelude. The disciples were exhilarated but
exhausted. Jesus had trained and then finally sent the disciples out
two by two to do what He was doing - preaching, casting out demons,
and healing the sick in surrounding villages. Now, they had returned
and reported back to Jesus. They were depleted physically ("they had
no leisure so much as to eat") and spiritually.

Jesus invited them on a private retreat for 12 to "rest awhile," but
when they got there they found 5000 other folks waiting for them!!
Interruption or Opportunity? A time for Compassion or Complaining?
Jesus chose compassion and took the interruption as an opportunity to
teach a great multitude many things.

The day wore on until evening. The disciples were tired and
said,"Send them away." (Let them go and feed themselves!) Jesus said,
"Sit them down and give them something to eat" before they go home
(YOU feed them). The disciples could only come up with a little food,
but Jesus blessed that little amount and used it to feed thousands.

Result? Instead of a Retreat for 12, it became a Revival and Refreshment for over 5000!!

Refreshment for the disciples? There were exactly enough leftovers
for each disciple to have a basketful - a "doggy basket," if you
please!

Reminder for all of us? "And when He had sent them away (fed), He

(Jesus) departed into a mountain to pray." Jesus needed some quiet

time with His Father. At the end of a busy day full of interruptions,

teaching opportunities, feeding my family, etc., I need to send everyone away - ha! - or put them to bed!

Then I need to find a quiet place to spend talking to my Heavenly Father Who never minds the interruption, won't tell me to go elsewhere to be fed, fills me up tooverflowing through His Word and prayer, and will send me away refreshed to face another day!