My Christmas Mantra

By Kristi Paxton

The best things in life are __________. (Fill in the blank.)

The word that most often comes to mind is “free.” The best things in life are free. OK. I get it.

I’ve been thinking of a new one:

The best things in life are not __________. (Fill in the blank.)

Here is my top ten list in reverse order, a la David Letterman:

The best things in life are not _________:

10. items I will ever have to dust or dust beneath.

9. low calorie.

8. at the mall.

7. in my jewelry box, nor will they ever be.

6. on TV.

7. caffeine-free.

6. without fur or a tail that wags.

5. labeled with a prestigious name brand.

4. in the newspaper holiday inserts.

3. offered in my pant size.

2. visible or controlled by me.

1. things.

As I approach the holiday season, I must repeat the above list over and over and over. Even so, often I find myself behind the steering wheel, driving to the mall. The newspaper insert is on the seat beside me. I’m heading off to Target to pick up the cute holiday outfit I saw on TV last night, wondering if they have it in my size and if it will still be cute. I’ve been jittery lately, so I order a hot cup of Starbucks decaf at the drive up. My mind wanders to that honking big ring I saw on the Kay’s ad. I hum the tune of “Every Kiss begins with Kay’s.”

Alarmed, I hope I have the courage to immediately turn the car around and head back home where I can brew a real cup of joe. A wagging tail will greet me at the door. I’ll cuddle up with a blanket, close my eyes and make a Christmas prayer for Peace on Earth.

And then I’ll reach for that plate of cookies—food for holiday season thought.

Amen.